June 2007

June 10, 2007 - Today would have been Angie's 37th birthday.  Four years ago she and Sophie had spent time with us, and I baked her what she requested: a white cake with strawberry Jell-o and strawberries on top, and whipped cream spelling Angie.  There were two candles. each a number 3, since she was 33.  We had the cake early, as they flew home to Arizona on the 10th.  We are doing so much better, but miss her very much.  It is hard to not be able to call her today and tell her happy birthday and that we love her, and listen to her voice.  But the joy she gave us during those 33 years is what we try to remember.

So much has happened since January regarding my health.  Those of you who have read Joy in the Morning know about what I thought were panic attacks.  I want to set the record straight, because I want those of you who think you are having panic attacks to be certain and get a proper diagnosis from your doctor!  Keep seeking help until you are satisfied and your health improves.

All the time I thought I was having panic attacks, I was actually having a heart problem, which was probably made worse due to the stresses of Angie's death and our moving to Texas.  Although the move has been beneficial, it is stressful to leave a hometown of 35 years and so many good friends! 

I went to the hospital twice with Tachycardia.  The second time I went to a different hospital, and my new heart doctor immediately had the diagnosis for me.  Dr. Borno said the blood would sometimes begin swirling around in one chamber so it would not push as much blood into the other chamber.  AND - the biggest surprise of all was this:  He told me, “You have NEVER HAD A PANIC ATTACK IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.”  He said I probably had this heart problem for at least 20 years.  When my heart made the blood swirl, it made me feel stressed, and then when I had more stress in my life, it made it swirl more.  I think that when we moved to Texas, the heart problem had progressed, and the other stresses in my life made the blood swirl more.  Thus I would have the rapid pulse, which was actually started by my heart! 

On April 13 I had a Cardiac Ablation done.  They can do such wonders these days!  The surgeon put a tiny catheter through my veins up to my heart, and found the four places that caused the swirling.  He killed those cells.  The last time he tested it, my heart would not speed up, so he is fairly certain that I am cured.  I gradually grew stronger, and am now close to normal.    Someday I plan to revise my book, Joy in the Morning, to let people know I didn't have any panic attacks.  However, many who have suffered losses such as mine DO have panic attacks, and need to get the proper medical care.

Mom's CHF is improving.  She has taken Coreg for almost a year, and I guess it is strengthening her heart muscles like it claims!  The doctor said that the recent Echocardiogram was much better than the one she had about a year ago.  And her BNP has gone down.  (BNP is what shows how hard a person's heart has to work to pump the blood.)

Joe has continued to love teaching in Shallowater.  He helped coach track this spring, and will be eager to go back to football in the fall.  You should see the closet full of sweats, t-shirts, and sports shoes!  It is a joy to see him enjoying teaching and sports again.

Sophie helped plan Barrett's first birthday party (with a frog theme), and we loved being there to share in the fun!  They have moved into a bigger home, and we were able to enjoy the birthday party on the huge screened-in patio.  We went to Sophie's school program at the end of the year.  It was lots of fun, and we got to keep her four nights! - Right before Mother's Day!  (What a wonderful gift that was for me, and Joe enjoyed it just as much as I did!)  We hope to have opportunities to keep Barrett more now that I am recovering and growing stronger.  And Sophie is excited about getting to be a big sister for the second time, with a baby brother due in October. 

Each of my updates has concluded with a Bible passage.  This one is speaking of the joy the disciples of Christ would have when He came back to life again, but the words express the way we feel about recovering from Angie's death, my physical recovery, and being blessed with two grandchildren and a third on the way:  ”And ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy” (John 16:20).